Do you find there are certain people who really affect your energy? You may feel fine beforehand, but after being around them you feel drained, overwhelmed, or simply not good.
This is Video #4 in my Positive Energy Protection series
I want to look at why certain people affect us much more strongly than others.
Before getting into that, I want to mention something from my last video. When I recorded Video #3, my own energy was extremely low. I had missed a lot of sleep, had been doing a lot physically, and my body hadn’t had time to recuperate.
That is actually an important part of this topic.
When we’re exhausted, stressed, depleted, or already stretched beyond our normal capacity, we can become much more vulnerable to other people’s energy. Something that would normally stretch us a little can suddenly feel overwhelming. We may even become defensive when someone simply wants some of our time.
So before assuming another person is draining your energy, it’s helpful to also ask: What is the state of my own energy right now?
Why Do Some People Trigger Us More Than Others?
There are many people we can be around without any difficulty, yet certain people seem to immediately push our buttons.
With someone close to us, such as a family member with whom we have unresolved issues, this can make sense. There may be years of experiences and emotions connected with that relationship.
But what about someone you’ve never met?
You might be standing in line at a grocery store, talking with someone at a bank, or simply having a conversation with a stranger, and for some reason that person really affects you.
Often, it isn’t entirely about that person. They may be mirroring or triggering something unresolved within you.
Their personality, behaviour, attitude, or emotional energy may remind your subconscious mind of something from your past. In a sense, it can open up the filing cabinet of unresolved experiences associated with that type of person or circumstance.
When someone feels like they’re draining your energy, try asking yourself:
•What is this person triggering in me?
•Where have I felt this way before?
•Does this feeling seem familiar?
•Is something from my past being activated here?
If you’ve experienced that same feeling many times before, that can give you an important clue that there may be more happening within you than simply what this person is doing in the present moment.
When Someone Is Holding a Very Strong Negative State
There can also be times when someone is simply holding a very strong negative emotional state.
They may view life pessimistically, complain continually, or be deeply entrenched in anger, negativity, or unhappiness. Being around that can feel very draining, particularly when your own energy is already low or you don’t feel confident and grounded within yourself.
One way I like to explain this is through the idea of entrainment.
Grandfather clocks placed together have been observed to gradually synchronize their rhythms. Rather than continuing independently, they can begin moving together.
I use this as an analogy for what can happen between people. When someone is holding an emotional state very strongly and we aren’t firmly grounded in our own state, it can be easy to begin entraining to their emotional vibrational state.
But this also points toward something very important: you can strengthen your ability to hold your own energy.
Holding Your Own Energy
If you can remain grounded, hold your confidence, and maintain your emotional and mental boundaries, you don’t have to follow another person into their negative state.
You can hear what they’re saying and recognize how they’re feeling without allowing your thoughts and emotions to automatically go there with them.
I experienced this myself years ago with a family member I had found very challenging. They came into my workshop one day and began talking about a lot of negative things. Instead of getting pulled into the conversation, I stayed grounded, smiled, and simply held my own state.
They eventually went away because I wasn’t willing to join them in that conversation.
This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be positive or trying to change the other person. It’s about becoming more aware of where your own attention and energy are going and learning that you don’t always have to follow someone else’s emotional state.
Begin by Noticing What Happens
For now, experiment with this in your own life.
Notice the people who strongly trigger or drain you. See if you can catch the moment when you begin reacting automatically.
Notice:
•What happens in your body
•What emotions come up
•What thoughts begin running through your mind
•Whether your energy was already low beforehand
•Whether the feeling reminds you of something you’ve experienced before
Then come back to your breathing and your body.
The more you can stay present with yourself, the easier it becomes to observe what is happening around you without automatically being pulled into it.
In the upcoming videos, we’ll continue moving into practical ways of strengthening and managing your energy so you can remain more grounded when you’re around challenging people or circumstances.
FREE Self-Help Mindfulness Series
One of the most helpful ways to strengthen your ability to hold your own energy is to become more present and connected with what you’re feeling in your body. My FREE Self-Help
Mindfulness Series can help you:
•Recognize emotional triggers before automatically reacting
•Stay connected with your body when someone is affecting you
•Notice when your thoughts are pulling you into another person’s negativity
•Remain more grounded during challenging interactions
•Return more easily to your own calm, centred state
There is no sign-up required.
FREE Self-Help Mindfulness Series:
https://www.hypnotherapyvictoria.com/free-self-help-mindfulness-series/
Explore the Full Positive Energy Protection Series
If you often feel affected or drained by certain people, explore the full Positive Energy Protection series. Throughout the series, we look at why this happens and gradually move into practical tools for strengthening your energy, recognizing triggers, creating healthier boundaries, and staying more grounded before, during, and after challenging interactions.
Positive Energy Protection Series:
http://hypnotherapyvictoria.com/positive-energy-protection/
Free 1-Hour Video Consultation
If certain people repeatedly trigger you or leave you feeling emotionally drained, I offer a free 1-hour video consultation where we can talk about what you’re experiencing, how it’s affecting your life, explore possible underlying emotional or subconscious patterns, discuss what you’d like to change, and see whether my therapy process feels like the right fit for you.
Counselling Hypnotherapy
Sometimes the reason certain people affect us so strongly connects with unresolved experiences, self-confidence, emotional boundaries, or subconscious patterns from our past.
Through counselling and hypnotherapy, we can explore these deeper patterns and work toward becoming more grounded and confident within yourself, so that challenging people and circumstances don’t have the same power to pull you away from your own centre.
Counselling Victoria:
Hypnotherapy Victoria:
https://www.hypnotherapyvictoria.com/hypnotherapy-victoria/
Learning to hold your own energy doesn’t mean shutting other people out or becoming less sensitive. It’s about becoming more aware of yourself so you can recognize what is happening, stay grounded, and choose how you want to respond.
Arne Pedersen
