Are you feeling exhausted, like your energy is constantly being drained and you just don’t have enough left for the things you want to do?
What if some of the things draining your energy aren’t actually coming from other people at all? What if there are things within your own life that are slowly draining your energy every day?
In Video #5 of my Positive Energy Protection series, I want to look at this from a different perspective. Instead of only looking at how other people’s energy may affect you, take an honest look at your own life and identify the areas that are feeding your energy—and the areas that may continually be taking energy away from you.
Make an Energy Map of Your Life
One simple way to do this is to write down the main areas of your life. You could even draw a circle like a pie and divide it into sections.
Your sections might include:
• Sleep
• Exercise
• Food and physical health
• Relationships
• Friends and family
• Work
• Hobbies
• Your home environment
• Other important areas of your life
Now sit with each area and give it a score from 1 to 10.
A 10 represents something that is really feeding your energy. You are gaining more from it than you are putting into it.
Sleep is a good example. If you go to bed tired, sleep really well and wake up feeling rested and full of energy again, your sleep might be a 9 or 10.
At the other end of the scale, perhaps there is a relationship or interaction that repeatedly costs you a great deal of energy. You may feel okay before talking with that person, but noticeably worse afterward. That might be a 1, 2 or 3.
A 5 is fairly neutral—you put energy into that area and get roughly the same amount back.
The Hidden Drains You Carry With You
Some energy drains don’t disappear when you leave the situation.
There may be an unresolved relationship or something from your past that continues to weigh on you. Even when you’re at work, spending time with friends or doing something completely unrelated, it’s still there in the background.
It’s a little like having a pile of clutter sitting in the corner of your home. Every time you walk past it, you think, I really should clean that up.
But you don’t.
You keep seeing it, thinking about it and putting it out of your mind. Eventually, simply ignoring it takes energy. It may have taken much less energy to deal with it once than it takes to continually push it away.
An unresolved emotional issue can work in a similar way. If you’re continually ruminating about something from the past, it can influence how you perceive other experiences in the present. It is always there, quietly weighing on you and using some of your available energy.
Small Energy Drains Can Add Up
Look at your sleep. Is it actually restoring your energy?
Look at the foods you’re eating. Do they leave your body feeling nourished and energized, or do you regularly feel depleted afterward?
Look at your relationships, your surroundings and the unresolved things in your life.
One energy drain may not seem significant. But when several areas of your life are continually taking more energy than they give back, together they can leave you depleted.
This becomes particularly important when you encounter something challenging.
If you begin with plenty of energy in reserve, an emotionally difficult interaction might bring your energy down temporarily, but you still have a buffer. It can be relatively easy to recover.
If you’re already depleted by several hidden energy drains, you don’t have that same reserve.
You may become defensive, put walls up, snap at someone, struggle to maintain boundaries or fall into people-pleasing because you simply don’t have the internal resources you normally would.
This is why identifying the energy drains within your own life can be such an important part of positive energy protection.
Start Working With What Is Draining You
Go back to your list and ask yourself:
What is costing me energy?
Then look honestly at the areas with the lowest scores.
Some things can be changed relatively easily. Others may involve deeper emotional work, unresolved experiences, relationships or patterns that have been present for a long time.
The purpose isn’t to judge yourself or expect everything to change immediately. It’s to become conscious of where your energy is going.
Change requires change.
If you want to feel differently, begin asking:
• How can I meet this area of my life differently?
• What changes can I make within myself?
• What practical changes can I make in my life?
• What unresolved areas am I ready to begin working with?
It may take energy and effort to make those changes, but that effort can eventually give something back to you rather than continually requiring you to pull yourself back up from depletion.
Free 1-Hour Video Consultation
If you recognize unresolved relationships, emotional experiences or other areas of your life that are continually draining your energy, I offer a free 1-hour video consultation. We can talk about what you’re experiencing and how it is affecting your life, explore possible underlying patterns and root causes, discuss what you would like to change, and look at my therapy process to see whether working together feels like the right fit for you.
Continue the Positive Energy Protection Series
Explore the full Positive Energy Protection series for a deeper understanding of energy drain and practical ways to work with it in daily life. As the series progresses, we’ll look at what you can do before, during and after challenging interactions to help prepare yourself, remain grounded and recover afterward.
Positive Energy Protection Series:
FREE Self-Help Mindfulness Series
Mindfulness can also help you become more aware of where your energy is going. Instead of moving automatically through familiar habits and emotional reactions, you can begin noticing what is happening within you while it is happening.
My FREE Self-Help Mindfulness Series can help you:
• Recognize emotional and mental energy drains sooner
• Become more aware of repetitive thoughts and reactions
• Notice when you’re becoming depleted
• Stay more present during difficult situations
• Respond more consciously rather than automatically
FREE Self-Help Mindfulness Series:
Counselling Hypnotherapy
Sometimes the areas that continually drain us involve deeper emotional patterns, past experiences or subconscious responses that are difficult to change through conscious effort alone.
Through mindfulness-based counselling and hypnotherapy, we can explore these patterns and work toward resolving what may be keeping you stuck or continually using your emotional energy.
Counselling Victoria:
Hypnotherapy Victoria:
Ultimately, positive energy protection isn’t only about protecting yourself from what is outside of you. It’s also about looking honestly at your own life, recognizing what continually takes your energy, and making conscious changes that allow you to move from simply coping or surviving toward having more energy available to actually thrive.
Arne Pedersen
